Where did the myth come from that women are monogamous

A polygamous man is a free bird with a healthy libido. A polygamous woman is a person with low social responsibility. Is that familiar? So, this has nothing to do with reality.

Today the world is changing at an unprecedented rate, and even such seemingly basic foundations have changed.

It was assumed that women are monogamous by default, because they are the guardians of the hearth and simply must at any outcome be faithful to their partner, sit by the window and covered with dust.

But are women really monogamous, as society hammered into female heads? I’m sure that “one man for life” is a decision not determined by physiology, but connected exclusively with social pressure and the rules that, as we know, were written by men. And in these rules – “know your place, woman.” And he determined this place for her, you know who.

Previously, the dependence on public opinion and the weighty father’s fist with which he hit the table in case of disobedience was stronger than any predispositions, desires and instincts. The woman had a list; opposite each of the items, she checked one by one – take care of yourself before the wedding; pregnancy after the discharge of almost every conjugal duty; give birth regardless of health, outcome of pregnancy and previous births; take care of children, home and husband.

From the overabundance of duties, from the oppression that fell on their shoulders, from the lack of contraception, women put an end to themselves and perceived sex as a duty, duty and duty. There was no talk of the pleasure of speech.

Yes, there were always women who listened to their desires and walked along the road of least resistance, not paying attention to society, its pressure and condemnation from many, they chose their pleasure, their nature.

But this has always been an exception to the rule.

Times have changed, and women are claiming their rights louder and louder. The advent of contraceptives gave every woman freedom from the inevitable outcome of sex – the pregnancy that plagued our ancestors. The woman herself chooses a partner. He listens to his feelings and can already calmly talk about the real reasons for the “mismatch of characters”, as the reasons for divorce are different sexual constitutions, lack of sex.

And yet, as a psychologist and sexologist, I see a very important nuance. Female polygamy in its purest form takes place at certain times in a woman’s life and not in such a large number of cases. And here, our natural mental characteristics, which cannot be discounted, play a huge role. Our main difference from men is a strong emotional attachment to a sexual partner. Only a small percentage of women can distinguish between bed and emotions, physical satisfaction from moral satisfaction. The situation is familiar when, after a quarrel with a partner, we refuse violent reconciliation, because the insult did not go away and the passions did not subside? So, men never understood and will not understand us in this matter, since for them there is nothing better than to make peace in bed. Very few people have a complete separation of sex and relationships, sex and emotions, sexual satisfaction and emotional satisfaction, therefore free relationships, backed up by a physiological impulse, are less common in women than in men.

Yes, men cheat on their soul mates with women, only they are much more likely to become attached, fall in love and ultimately suffer, because the man did not promise anything, and love was not supposed.

Another crucial point. If everything is started for the sake of satisfying one’s desires, sex, then we know that the best sex appears when grinding has taken place, getting used to the partner’s body, feeling each other. The orgasm of a woman, unlike the male, is not just a mechanic, and without some preliminary adjustment (which is impossible with a one-time contact) simply will not happen. And then it turns out that only drive from a sense of freedom, and not satisfaction at all, was the goal. And it’s not about monogamy, but about overcoming internal prohibitions. And here it is better to work with a psychologist than to get involved in a change of partners.

But there is one more thing. If, speaking of polygamy, we will mean not only a change in sexual partners, but also emotional attachment? And then it becomes obvious that we can really experience tenderness, emotional attraction and comfort in dealing with several men. And then, going beyond the understanding of polygamy, exclusively, like jumping from bed to bed, we find that several interesting, close, similar in emotions and interests of men, can significantly diversify and colorize our lives.

One thing is obvious – for us sex is as important as for men. Women emerged from the twilight of convictions, convictions, a sense of duty, and blind obedience to long-term foundations. Is it bad? Is it good? Each woman has the right to decide for herself how many partners to have, how to choose them and whether to live with someone who does not meet her needs, or to find the most suitable option for her. And this freedom is worth a lot.

local_offerevent_note June 15, 2020

account_box admin

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *