7 things that happen to women after childbirth

Preparing for the birth of a child, expectant mothers try to learn as much as possible about what awaits them: they interrogate friends, read books by famous psychologists and pediatricians, and study the Internet endlessly. But sources usually are silent about these situations. We deal with an expert.

The child constantly needs attention

“Gift” children who only eat and sleep are not given to all mothers. Most babies need maternal attention about once every 30 seconds, so morning coffee will have to be heated in the microwave, and breakfast will be possible only closer to 3 o’clock in the afternoon.

What to do with it

“Many parents adhere to the concept, on the basis of which the family tries to adapt as much as possible to the needs of the child, instead of forming a newborn’s regime on the basis of two most important components: his natural needs and his mother’s rational and flexible approach to solving this problem. In the end, the child appeared in the life of parents, rather than parents, suddenly arose in the child’s life, which means that his regime should obey the family system, and not vice versa. Plan your day with an eye on the baby and his needs, but not stepping off of them. “

The husband is not ready for the role of father

The trend for equal participation of both parents in the process of raising children is actively developing. But to rebuild the usual interaction between spouses from a pair (when two people built relationships with each other) to family (when a child appeared) is not an easy task. Especially if the father of the child, instead of fully helping his wife, tries to fight the newborn for her attention. This is confirmed by studies at the University of Denver, according to which in the first year of a child’s life, up to 90% of couples admit that they are not satisfied with their marriage.

What to do with it

“With the birth of a child, it turns out that a married couple is now not just a husband and wife, but also a mom and dad. A man will become accustomed to a new role only if he tries to get involved in all processes related to the child as much as possible. Good if your dad has some special activity, such as an evening swim or a daily walk. “

Small rituals during which the couple pays attention only to each other will help to avoid bias towards the child and maintain marital ties. If it’s not possible to go on a date at the cinema or cafe, a 15-minute conversation on any topic (except for children!) Over an evening cup of tea or a joint trip to the shower is suitable.

Sex no longer exists

Often, besides the physiological reasons that make a woman uncomfortable having sex, there are also psychological ones. Lack of desire is most often caused by physical fatigue, emotional overload, lack of understanding on the part of the partner. The usual intimate life is interrupted, and this becomes a real problem for the couple.

What to do with it

“Talking is a great way to establish an intimate life, because it largely depends not only on the physiological component, but also on emotional contact. In general, the concept of intimacy can be much broader than just a classic sexual intercourse! You can achieve intimacy with the help of gentle touches, compliments, taking care of the partner and showing him signs of attention. “

No love for baby

It is believed that any woman begins to experience infinite happiness as soon as she picks up her newborn baby. But actually it is not so at all. Even those who carefully planned their pregnancy and really wanted a baby can feel fright and anxiety for some time, and not love at all.

What to do with it

“The relationship between a mother and a newborn at the initial stage can be called affection rather than love, a kind of“ special connection ”that appears during pregnancy. Love is a complex feeling that develops gradually and progressively over the course of several months, rather than clicked. “

Need to take care of yourself

Society imposes on the woman who has given birth to a child the need to combine several different social roles and do it brilliantly! If you do not learn in time to maintain a balance between all your roles and for a long time not give yourself a break, a feeling of mild anxiety can develop into despair, apathy and, in the end, physical exhaustion and depression.

What to do with it

“If a mother feels that she cannot cope herself and she needs psychological support, it’s very important not to try to forget about her problems, but to turn to a specialist. Of course, in the first year of a child’s life, finding this time is not so easy, but ignoring the need for help , especially in such a vulnerable state, by no means impossible. ” At the very least, it’s worth telling your relatives about your feelings, asking for help and making it a rule at least once a day to give yourself a short (10–20 minutes) respite during which you can do something that helps to fill up your own resources: drink tea with favorite cookies, read a book, watch a series, take a bath, just lie with your eyes closed.

Weight does not go away right away

In order to adjust the work of internal organs after childbirth, the female body needs at least several months, and much depends on individual characteristics. For example, immediately after birth, the uterus weighs about 1 kg, and it takes at least 3 weeks to return to its normal weight (about 50 grams)!

What to do with it

If for all 9 months my mother led a healthy lifestyle, eat right and actively engage in sports, the muscles will quickly come into shape. If during pregnancy a woman ate for two and spent her leisure time on the couch, then it may take much more time to achieve the desired results. As the first steps to the goal, try to follow the rules of a healthy diet and maintain basic activity daily, for example, make at least 10,000 steps a day. Thanks to regular walks with a stroller, this will not be difficult at all.

Everyone gives advice (and it infuriates)

As soon as a child appears in the family, it immediately turns out that everyone around him knows what to do with him, much better than his own mom and dad. People around, not stinting, advise how, when and how to feed the newborn, make assumptions about the causes of crying, talk about how hot or cold it is, and tell stories from their lives. Alas, unsolicited advice is part of our lives, and the older the child becomes, the more often parents will have to deal with them.

What to do with it

Carefully build personal boundaries, surround them with a solid sound barrier and enjoy life, so that even the most intrusive free recommendations remain overboard and do not affect your peace of mind.

local_offerevent_note April 13, 2020

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